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John Rosemond is America's most widely-read parenting authority! He is a best-selling author, columnist, speaker, and family psychologist. Index | Archives | About John Rosemond | Books | Submit A Question |
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dangers with child who wants to walk to school alone The issue of child abduction is interesting if for no reason other than fact hardly jives with public perception. For example, the U.S. Justice Department has found that per-capita child abduction by non-family members (i.e., people intent on doing harm) has not increased appreciably, if at all, in nearly 20 years, perhaps longer. Increased media coverage has raised awareness of the problem and contributed to a 100 percent return of abducted newborns in the last year (great!) but also created the general impression that child abduction is an ever-present, imminent threat (not so great). The incidence of what the Justice Department calls "stereotypical" abductions-involving a stranger who kidnaps a child with the intent of holding him for ransom, keeping him, or killing him-is far lower than most parents imagine. Would you believe around 100 per year? That's roughly one in a million. If you're truly concerned about your child's life, then don't allow horseback-riding or youth football, where the odds of being killed are three and twelve times greater, respectively. And if you really and truly want to insure that your child lives to adulthood, never let him ride in a car, even yours, much less let him drive one. When it comes to child abduction by strangers, preschoolers are in the lowest risk category. That's because most child predators are sexually-motivated. As a result, the risk of stranger-abduction increases through the elementary school years and peaks at age 15. Teenage girls are most vulnerable. As I've said before in this column, the Internet is a highly dangerous place for teens-especially girls-to be wandering. According to the Justice Department's Highlights of the Youth Internet Safety Survey, "one in five children ages 10 to 17 receive unwanted sexual solicitations online." Not only do the statistics fail to justify current levels of parental concern over child abduction, but some of the things parents do to prevent abduction are actually not that helpful. For example, telling a child to stay away from strangers is relatively ineffective. "Stranger" is not a concept that young children easily understand. Furthermore, as many if not more child abductions are perpetrated by friends, neighbors, and acquaintances as by strangers. Instead, children ought to be taught to be on the look for specific threatening behaviors and situations. (For more information on child abduction, see www.missingchild.wordpress.com and www.childprotectionsolutions.com. The FBI has helpful abduction-prevention tips for kids at www.fbi.gov/kids/k5th/safety3.htm.) The bottom line, however, is this: If you are uncomfortable letting
your daughter walk to school, and for whatever reason, even an "irrational"
one, then drive her, walk with her, or walk her to the bus stop and
put her on the bus. There are not many instances where I believe parental
anxieties should rule, but this is one of them. There's simply no point
agonizing over this issue, regardless of how well-grounded one's agony
may be. |
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