Gender Selection
Choose The Sex

Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2005 9:10 pm Post subject: Bereavement and Fetal Loss

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The leaf with the teardrop reflects both intense suffering of loss and hope for the future. Though fallen, the leaf maintains its vitalty symbolizing hope. It cradles the teardrop with its upturned edges creating a sense of comfort. As seasons change, so do feelings. Just as there is winter and spring, there is sadness and hope.

Bereavement and Fetal Loss

Handsome happy-go-lucky vice-presidential hopeful Sen. John Edwards is a "bereaved parent". His teenaged son died in a car accident. Their decision to have two more children was different than some 50-year-old parents might have made, none-the-less right for them.

Mothers who miscarry or deliver a stillborn baby have a particularly under-recognized burden. That is, family and friends do not realize how important that unborn child was in the parents lives. Complicating matters is the combined grieving of the father and sometimes older siblings with its resulting stress on relationships.

Fetal demise is very common. It has been estimated to involve as much as 65-75% of all conceptions. Albeit, many occur before the woman knows she is pregnant. The vast majority occur in the first trimester. Still, when it happens to you, you may feel like you're the only one who has ever had a miscarriage.

When a fetal demise occurs, there will be bleeding or spotting, the uterus contracts and there is a delivery of the fetus. Sometimes, parts of the placenta do not completely detach and must be removed manually with a minor surgical procedure (D & C or D & E). It is no surprise that the emotional healing takes significantly longer than the physical recuperation.

Recognizing grief and allowing yourself time to pass through its stages--denial, anger, bargaining, depression and guilt, then acceptance, is the beginning of this recovery. Some personal suggestions: 1. Share your feelings with others. 2. Keep busy. 3. Be active and exercise regularly. It releases mood-lifting endorphins and helps you sleep better. 4. Watch your diet and your health. 5. Delay important decisions. 6. Be mindful of the family you have 7. Join a support group, such as SHARE. A listing of this and other resources can be found at: http://washingtonpublishers.com/resources.htm 8. Finally, if you need it, do not hesitate to get professional help. Remember--take one day at a time.

 

Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2005 8:27 pm Post subject: miscarriage

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

miscarriage is very common, and a reminder that baby making can be hard sometimes too.

It is a devestating event, but one must pick up and carry on. Miscarriage seems to happen on the first pregnancy more than others, then these couples usually go on to have normal births after that.

Today It Rained - A poem